


La Vie en Rose

by yutaeilbot



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Meeting in dreams, end game yuwin, its essentially soulmates, slight jaewin, the mechanics of this arent fleshed out dont @ me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-26 16:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17144801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yutaeilbot/pseuds/yutaeilbot
Summary: The first time he had the dream was as a child.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know where this idea came from or why i wrote it like a man possessed but here's something!! yes i did listen to iz*one's la vie en rose on repeat for several hours to write this :)

The first time he had the dream was as a child. He awoke to find himself in a garden maze, laid gently upon what seemed to be a bed of soft rose petals. With no hesitation, he stood, marveling at the walls, which - at his age - were colossal, towering above him like the city skyscrapers.

Although he found himself in an unfamiliar place, there was no confusion, no fear of what he would find if he pressed forward, no unease of being lost; in fact, his natural curiosity urged him further into the maze, heart swelling with anticipation, as if it knew of what he’d find waiting for him at the heart of the maze.

He stumbled into the center not too long after waking, and walked into a scene similar to one he’d see in his teacher’s vibrant fairy tale books: unblemished wooden benches under shady trees, blossoming with fruit; well-tended flower beds with flowers of all kinds and colors; topiaries in various shapes, including animals - beautiful birds, rambunctious rabbits, curious kittens being followed by playful puppies; and in the center of the open area stood a solitary white gazebo, pristine and almost shining in the mid-day sun. Letting his curiosity guide him still, he approached the structure, careful not to tread on any of the few wild flowers that littered the garden as he went.

As he approached the gazebo, a form began to reveal itself to him, standing at a small table with a glass of some type encapsulating something on its surface. The form fully materialized as he arrived at the edge of the building and a new feeling kicked in - a jump of his heart, a sense of unease blossoming in his young chest, excitement mingling with nervousness, uncertainty making him hesitant.

It seemed as though his hesitation at that point would do him no good, however, as the figure - a young boy around his age - turned his head to look directly at his guest.

“You’re here,” the boy said, almost excitedly, as he turned fully to face him. “I wondered if you’d find your way.”

“Do I… know you?” Sicheng asked, eyes narrowing as he inspected the boy in front of him. 

He was flashed a beautiful smile in return, and answered with a shake of the head and the other boy saying, "No, not yet. Hopefully this meeting won’t be our only one and we’ll get to know each other.”

Sicheng was now thoroughly confused, to say the least. The maze had been fun - exciting, even - but he didn't much like strangers, or the way this boy was speaking. Something about it all made his hair stand on end, so he didn't say anything back, instead choosing to look past the stranger at the glass case on the table, curious of its contents. Inside the glass was a single rose, striking in vivid red, in full bloom. He'd never seen anything quite like it, having lived in the city for as long as he could remember. Sure, he'd seen pictures and paintings, even real roses on class trips to the city's botanical gardens, but he'd  _ never _ seen something so... indescribable. Dream or not, he was sure he'd never forget seeing this flower as long as he would live. Nothing could ever compare to the vibrancy, the rich color, of something created in a dream. Reality could never compare. 

"It's pretty, isn't it?" the boy asked, stepping to the side and gesturing for Sicheng to step inside the gazebo and approach the table. "It's the only one like it, you know." 

Part of Sicheng told him to be cautious -  _ your mother always told you not to talk to strangers _ , he told himself, but then thought  _ but this is a dream, right? Surely mom wouldn't mind this once. _ He let that thought propel him forward, stepping under the shade of the gazebo before he could talk himself out of it. Not that he was confident he could do so; he felt almost like the rose was pulling him in, asking for him to come closer, wanting his attention specifically. He was irrevocably drawn to it. 

As he approached, he glanced at the stranger once more, somewhat off-put by his presence. How did he even get there? Sicheng supposed it was because he was dreaming, and weird things happen in dreams, but it still didn't sit well with him. He looked away from the boy just in time to catch himself from running into the small table, and leaned forward to closer inspect the flower. 

"This is called the Life Rose. Only certain people aside from my family will ever see it," the boys voice was close and soft, but when Sicheng instinctively whipped his head to the side, he found himself alone in the gazebo. 


	2. The Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dream continues. Life goes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> win acts very rashly in this chapter for no good reason. theres ur warning

It was a recurring dream, similar the first few times but diverging when he was a teenager. He thought the stress of high school was probably to blame, shaking up what he had previously thought to be static, unchanging. The boy aged over the years similarly to Sicheng himself - he wondered if that was his brain subconsciously giving him an imaginary friend who was close in age to him who wasn’t a schoolmate, seeing as he was mostly surrounded by older kids otherwise. He appreciated his brain's sentiment, but would have been fine without it, thank you.

The dream’s changes did strike him as a bit odd, when he really thought about it. They went from him waking in the same place in the garden maze and finding his way to stare absently at the rose for a short amount of time before waking in the real world, to him starting in the center garden, usually curled up on a bench covered by a light blanket the boy placed upon him. The more often he had the dream, the less occupied with the rose Sicheng became, preferring to watch the beautiful but strange boy tend to the rest of the garden and make idle conversation with him.

It always felt like the boy knew more about Sicheng than Sicheng knew of him - he didn’t even know his name! He was practically a stranger to Sicheng even as the years progressed. When he stopped to think about the boy, Sicheng was always hit with this strange feeling of sadness; maybe because he felt they were close but he knew nothing about the other, maybe because the dreams were becoming so frequent that Sicheng missed him during the day.

One thing was for sure: as he got older, Sicheng’s thoughts about the dreams became less and less about the garden, about the commanding presence of the rose, and more about the strange boy who never failed to be in the garden with him. He had a beautiful smile (among other lovely features); sometimes Sicheng would notice his heart beating a little faster when the other boy would laugh, lighting the entire garden with his smile. Was it weird to have a crush on a stranger who you only knew through recurring dreams?

Everything was nice, though. Calm. They’d do this and that and talk a lot when Sicheng was there, becoming close and learning about each other as they grew. Part of Sicheng thought the boy wouldn’t age the same, since he was basically a figment of Sicheng’s imagination, but he could see the changes in front of him - the growing appearance of lean muscle on the boy’s arms when exposed by a tank top; their height difference on the occasion Sicheng would look up at him when standing by him in the garden; his hair growing and then getting cut, color changing slightly periodically, though typically remaining a fairly dark color.

He wondered for the longest time how long the dreams would last, but never plucked up the courage to pursue the topic. However, he was inspired to ask one night following his high school graduation, after his close schoolmates announced they were going abroad for university, essentially leaving him alone in the city.

“Hey,” he started, sitting on the ground with his back against a tree and the other boy’s head in his lap as he lay on the grass. “How long will this keep happening?”

The boy raised a hand to brush his own hair from his face - he’d been growing it out after Sicheng once commented that he thought longer hair looked good on him - and hummed softly before answering, “I don’t know.”

“Will you ever tell me your name?”

“You never asked for it,” the boy laughed, sitting up and turning to face Sicheng. “I’ll answer any question you ask of me, but that isn’t one you’ve given me.”

Sicheng pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. “Where I’m from, it’s common courtesy to give your name when you meet someone.”

“Here too, to an extent,” the boy said, reaching out and unfolding Sicheng’s arms to take his hands. “The way you and I are… is different. The rules are different here, you know?”

“I don’t know,” Sicheng replied, chest filling with unease as their fingers laced together. “I don’t know anything about any of this. If this is in my head, what’s the point in rules?”

They sat in tense silence for a moment.

“I’m… I’m not, like, an imaginary friend, Sicheng,” the other said after a moment. “I’m a real person, somewhere. I can’t think of where, right now. There’s a lot I can’t remember in here, but I can tell you with confidence my name is Yuta.”

“A lot you can’t remember in here?” he echoed, pulling his hands from Yuta’s and folding them in his lap. “Y-...Yuta. This has been happening for years, right? And I’ve never once considered _what_ this is.”

“It’s complicated.”

Well, that wasn’t a satisfactory answer. Sicheng looked away from Yuta, that unease in his chest tightening into a ball of frustration and confusion. Unfortunately, Sicheng was an angry crier - he could feel the back of his throat burn with the onset of tears.

“I don’t understand,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “I just wanted to know when you’d leave me, too.”

“Wh- Sicheng, I don’t _plan_ on leaving you,” Yuta said, rising to his knees and shuffling forward to take Sicheng’s cheeks in his hands, effectively forcing eye contact as he spoke. “I don’t know the mechanics of this well. There’s no name for what this is. All I can tell you is that the rose brought us together and I want it to keep us together for as long as it can. The--”

Yuta choked as he continued, and Sicheng could see the quickening rising and falling of his chest as his breathing stuttered.

“The rose has done this for my family for centuries, bringing them to someone they’re meant to know. I have very little control over this.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “If you want it to stop, you can make it stop, but I want -- I need you to think about it. Don’t make the decision rashly. I don’t want to lose you because of how absurd this circumstance is.”

“So you’re telling me…” Sicheng gulped, eyes darting around Yuta’s face in an attempt to put off the hot prick of tears in his eyes. “What? It’s magic? That’s bullshit and we both know it. I don’t care how or why it’s happening, I just want to know when I’ll be alone again.”

“Sicheng, I know it’s confusing and frustrating, but I’m telling you the truth.” Yuta’s voice wavered slightly, fearful. “You have to believe me.”

“I don’t _have_ to do anything,” he blurted, too quickly. His heart was pounding, his mind racing. It would have been simpler to continue the belief it was all fake, that this boy - _Yuta_ \- wasn’t real. Sicheng regretted even asking.

Slowly, Sicheng reached up and pulled Yuta’s hands from his face before standing. The flurry of emotions in his chest threatened to spill over if he stayed there any longer and he turned away to face the entrance to the center garden.

It’d been years since Sicheng had first come through that opening, since he first walked into this pristine setting and met Yuta. They’d both been children. They’d practically grown up together.

“Please, don’t.” He couldn’t quite hear Yuta speak behind him, didn’t see him stand or reach out to him. “ _Sicheng_.”

That barely audible calling of his name was the final straw for Sicheng; almost without even realizing, he was running towards the entrance - the exit. He wanted to wake up, to wake up and convince himself it really was a dream. He wanted to will it away. His heart clenched at the thought of Yuta being… real, being real and out there somewhere, unreachable. That was what hurt him most of all.

He wouldn’t say he was in love. He didn’t feel like he was in love, but as he turned a corner in the maze and the hedge walls closed behind him, leaving Yuta calling his name on the other side, Sicheng felt in his heart that he’d made a mistake; he’d never be the same with Yuta’s complete absence.

It was a cruel trick of fate, he decided, to give him someone to love but not give them entirely, allowing only bits and pieces to fuel a fruitless endeavor. He thought he probably never would have been happy living with Yuta in his dreams and his dreams alone, so it’d be better to not have him at all.

Sicheng followed the winding maze for what felt like an eternity until it led him to a familiar dead end, with a bed of soft rose petals waiting for him. Hands shaking, he lowered himself down onto the petals, and sat there until finally, _finally_ he woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> expect ch 3 in like the next few days cos its actually not finished yet lmao
> 
> ★ as always find me on twitter and curiouscat @yutaeilbot ★


	3. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes; something's missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in today's aesthetics we mixin cherry bomb yuta with touch promotions pink-hair win lmao

The dreams stopped. It took Sicheng about a week to really come to terms with it, even though he knew deep down that he stopped them. He knew all along what it meant when the hedge walls closed behind him. Adjusting himself to not seeing Yuta anymore was… rough. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was lonely afterwards. His friends left for their adventures abroad. He enrolled in the city’s university. Life moved on but his heart didn’t. 

Sicheng met Johnny and Taeyong in his first semester - they grew fond of each other rather quickly, became close friends fast and tried to stick together when they could. Taeyong and Johnny could see Sicheng was lonely, could see in his eyes a longing that even he may not have realized was there. They worried about him more often than not, but didn’t interfere. 

The three of them were the best of friends, almost from the beginning. An odd family, maybe, but a family nonetheless. They wouldn’t have changed it for the world. 

Sicheng met Jaehyun as a sophomore. Jaehyun’s kind eyes and bright smile made Sicheng’s heart flutter in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. Johnny and Taeyong teased him, poked fun at his blush and the way he’d stare without realizing, but encouraged him to pursue whatever kind of relationship he desired with the other boy. 

(He wondered, absentmindedly, if he’d ever stared at Yuta in a similar fashion.)

He took Johnny and Taeyong’s encouragement and used it to power himself up for doing just that - he and Jaehyun went on their first date a month and a half into the semester. It was pleasant, simple dinner and a walk through the botanical gardens.

(Sicheng was very interested in the roses, but he was right - nothing in reality could ever compare to the striking rose in the garden.) 

The relationship they developed was, in a word, lovely. They had their moments of blushing and fumbling around one another, their moments of bliss holding hands in the courtyard with a slight breeze blowing by them, their moments of misunderstanding and miscommunication. Overall it was just about what Sicheng expected from any relationship he would ever have, and he cherished their time together. 

They spent that semester practically inseparable. 

The first day of Sicheng’s second semester as a sophomore took him down now familiar halls of buildings he’d had many classes in already. He knew his classes would introduce several new faces, and he was eager to get going after a winter break of doing nothing in particular other than working a part-time job and facetiming Jaehyun who spent his break visiting family abroad.

Honestly, the last thing he expected - or  _ wanted _ , even - was to see a too familiar face walk into his microeconomics class. He was quick to turn his head, but it was too late - they’d made eye contact before he even registered who it was. There wasn’t much he could do but shrink in on himself as he was approached and then dragged from the room by the wrist. 

“Yuta, w-” Sicheng tried to protest, but followed with little prompting as they left the room and went to stand in the now empty stairwell. “I don’t--”

He cut himself off, unsure of what he even wanted to say. It’d been a year and a half at that point, since he’d stopped the dreams, since the last time he’d seen Yuta’s face beyond memories.

Yuta, surprisingly, was silent, merely backing up to the wall and sliding down with his knees to his chest. He stared at Sicheng the whole time, eyes hard but unmistakably wet. His hands were shaking when he raised them to press the heels of his palms to his eyes, exhaling shakily. 

“What the fuck,” he finally said after a moment, hands still pressed to his eyes. Sicheng could hear the thickness in his voice, that unmistakable pre-crying tone. “What the  _ fuck _ .” 

Sicheng didn’t know what to say; his mind was swimming with apologies and accusations, love and suspicion. What did he want to say? What did  _ Yuta _ want him to say?

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Yuta laughed, a choked blurt of sound between shaking breaths. 

They stood in silence, Sicheng eventually squatting in front of the other and reaching out to gently brush the hair from his forehead. Yuta’s hair was long - like Sicheng had remembered it - slightly wavy and his natural brown. 

“I missed you,” Sicheng all but whispered, half hoping Yuta wouldn’t hear him. He was almost ashamed, angry with himself for ruining something so special in a moment of rashness, but time had passed - Yuta might be unhappy to see him, might be angry at the sight of him after a year and a half. He tried not to put too much stock into his thoughts of Yuta now disliking him,  _ hating  _ him. “Yuta, I…” 

Yuta’s movement was fast - Sicheng didn’t even know what was happening until he was pulled tight to Yuta’s chest, held firmly but so tenderly. It took him a moment to blink away his confusion and return the other’s embrace, sliding his arms around Yuta’s thin waist and burying his face into the rough fabric of Yuta’s jacket. 

_ Don’t cry, _ he told himself, eyes squeezed shut.  _ Don’t fucking cry, you did this to yourself.  _

That didn’t help. The longer they were there hugging, not speaking, the closer to tears Sicheng felt. It was a too familiar sensation, one he didn’t quite feel like experiencing right then, but one he couldn’t really fight off. He couldn’t hold back the soft sob that broke from him, the sadness and longing, the shame. 

Yuta just held him; hid his face in Sicheng’s hair and let his own tears fall as he tried to comfort the boy. It felt a little hypocritical, trying to console Sicheng while he was crying as well, but nothing hurt more than seeing Sicheng upset. Nothing. 

“I’m sorry,” Sicheng choked out, pulling away slowly to look Yuta in the eyes. He wiped at his eyes with the sleeves of his sweater, bottom lip trembling. “I’m so sorry for… everything.” 

The other just reached up and took Sicheng’s face in his hands, gently wiped the fresh falling tears with his thumbs. He shook his head, smiling incredulously. 

“It’s okay,” he said softly, thumbs rubbing over Sicheng’s cheekbones. “I missed you, too.” 

There was no time for silence as Yuta pulled Sicheng’s face to his, still so gentle, to press their lips together. They both tried, mostly failing, to stop crying, tried to pour years of emotion into their kiss - the unspoken  _ I love you _ s and the months of longing. 

“Fuck.” Sicheng pulled away, raising his arms to hold Yuta’s shoulders. “I… Not right now.”

Yuta raised an eyebrow, prompting for more. 

“I have a boyfriend.” The conversation felt awkward to Sicheng, but Yuta just laughed, smiling that bright smile that made Sicheng’s heart flutter. “I mean, I- until later, I’m not single, and then after later I could still but not single but with you instead?” 

The laugh that burst from Yuta flooded Sicheng with memories and feelings almost forgotten after so long. It was refreshing, like cold lemonade on a summer day, like the breeze in the garden when they’d just sit in the sun together. 

“Not to be a bad influence or anything,” Yuta said, coughing gently to clear his throat of tears. “But I’d love to be with you instead of in a microeconomics class.” 

“I’d like that too.”

 

* * *

  
  


The pair stuck together for several hours, going to Yuta’s dorm and just sitting around - comfortable in a nostalgic way, but exciting in that they were almost strangers to one another. This time there was no omitted information, no chance for Yuta to be unable to recall information about himself or forget information about Sicheng. 

He poked fun at Sicheng’s current hair color - a soft pink that would likely be faded within a few days - but insisted he liked it, said it fit him, it looked good. Sicheng, on the other hand, couldn’t poke fun at Yuta’s hair due to his previous declaration of his fondness for the cut and color on the other boy. He tried and tried, but couldn’t find anything to poke at him for. Yuta was just… lovely. 

The strike of 3 pm had them saying their farewells once more, but just for a little while. They exchanged phone numbers, social media accounts, favorite emojis and memes, and generally just tried to procrastinate parting, but Sicheng knew he needed to sort things quickly. 

He found Jaehyun at the library, ready to start work on the assignments we was inevitably given, and sat next to him gingerly, nervously. 

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asked, immediately aware of Sicheng’s unease. 

“I- You deserve a whole lot, Jaehyun, more than I can give you, you know,” Sicheng started. “I… love someone, and it’s unfair for all of us for me to try to hold onto what we have.”

Jaehyun blinked at him, cocking an eyebrow, but not immediately upset.

“That being said, I do like you a lot. I’ve never faked a smile or laugh with you, and I’ll always remember us fondly.”

“I always knew you wouldn’t be mine forever, Sicheng,” Jaehyun said, smiling, understanding. “Your heart was always elsewhere. I’m just glad for the time we had.” 

Sicheng could have cried from joy if he hadn’t dried out his tear ducts crying with Yuta earlier. 

“Friends?” he offered, hopeful.

“Of course.” Jaehyun grinned, chuckling as if he thought being anything less would even remotely be an option for them. They were too close. (Of course, he wouldn’t have forced Sicheng to remain his friend, he just really wanted it.) “Maybe when you have time you can hook me up with your tall, goofy friend that never looked like he liked me.” 

Sicheng laughed, too loudly for the library, and pecked Jaehyun’s cheek. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

“And!” Jaehyun interrupted as Sicheng began to stand once more. “Introduce me to whoever’s held onto your heart all this time, alright? I’ll beat him up if he seems sketchy.” 

“Later,” Sicheng promised, reaching a hand out to ruffle the other’s hair before leaving once more and finding his way back to Yuta’s place. 

He thought for a moment that it might be bad to spend so much time together so immediately; they did technically just meet for the first time. Was he too attached? Would that be bad for them? 

Yuta opening the door to greet him completely steamrolled those thoughts, though. That soft smile, seeming so genuinely happy to even see Sicheng again, could probably end anyone’s doubtful thoughts. 

“You came back,” Yuta said, matter-of-factly. 

“Of course, I did,” Sicheng scoffed, brushing past him into the dorm and flopping down on the couch. “No hedge wall to stop me from coming back to you now.” 

Yuta didn’t answer, only grinned and joined Sicheng, laying himself gracelessly over the younger, resting his head on his chest. Although he hadn’t said it, Sicheng knew that went both ways. He knew they wouldn’t be kept apart again; he wouldn’t allow it. 

“I missed you.” Yuta’s voice was soft, though when Sicheng looked down, his eyes were closed. “So much.” 

This time Sicheng didn’t answer, instead opting to gently run his fingers through the older’s hair and hum in agreement. They were quiet for a bit, simply enjoying each other’s presence - though Sicheng was internally planning things for them to do, listing his favorite places he wanted to take Yuta to, imagining his smile over simple things, hoping they’d be comfortable and happy together in reality as they were in the dreams. 

A flicker of something caught his eye as he thought and Sicheng’s attention switched over to see a single vivid red rose petal come floating down to rest atop Yuta’s head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl this ending sucks cos i didnt have one planned weeeee  
> thanks for reading i luv u

**Author's Note:**

> i'm definitely procrastinating coffee break rn lmao -- this little work is completely unrelated and will have a nice 3 chapters which are already written and just waiting for me to post them lmfao 
> 
> ★ as always find me on twitter and curiouscat @yutaeilbot ★


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